Facebook Post: The Hips

Post from Tree of Life Massage Facebook page:

How are your hips doing? Are you experiencing stiffness or pain when walking? Low back pain from too much sitting? There are two major muscle group that move the hip: the anterior or front muscle group and the posterior back muscle group (your butt).

The front group flexes your leg in front and the back group extends your leg back. These muscles are very important and do a lot of work. Sitting can cause the muscles to "shorten" and tighten up causing stiffness and/or a pain in the butt! Massage, stretching and walking can all help to relieve this uncomfortable condition. 

One more thing, did you know cats have an anatomy very similar to humans? What if we took some cues from them? They are always exercising and taking regular naps. What's the first thing they do when they wake up? Stretch! They stretch their hips out briefly through lunges and extension. They look like ballerinas. I've started imitating cats and it really does help my hips! ‪#‎hips‬ ‪#‎massagetherapy‬ ‪#‎stretching‬ ‪#‎cats‬‪#‎lessonsfromcats‬ ‪#‎whoknew‬ ‪#‎glutes‬ ‪#‎gluteusmaximus‬ ‪#‎piriformis‬

A CRAPPY Entry

It has been nearly two years since I started my business Tree of Life Massage.  I have learned a lot since then and I still have countless things yet to learn.

Sometimes I look back on the emails I wrote and the things I've done to get started and I feel so foolish.  The reason is CRAP:   Chronic Recurring Attempts to Appear Professional.

When emailing health professionals to introduce myself and when communicating with the Doctor I eventually began working with, sometimes I would word things in a way so that I would sound like I was totally serious about work and very professional.

Often when I tried to sound a certain way, I came across as arrogant...I can think of no better word.  In one instance I made it sound like I was putting down another's profession.

The Doctor and I were emailing about what type of services I would be using.  He explained that this setting would not be the kind of setting for spa-type massage but the more medical side of things.  I wanted to assure him that I understood and I wanted to recommend myself for the Chiropractor establishment. I told the Doctor that I wasn't the sort of massage therapist that does "Floo-floo" stuff.  This was the word my teachers at school had used to describe spa-type modalities in comparison to therapeutic modalities.

The way I said this made it sound like a put-down to those who did spa stuff.
I don't mind spa stuff, I think it's fun, but I pretended to despise it in order to appear serious about the job I was applying for.  My behavior was a load of CRAP.

Another story:   A friend of mine, Kat, is a professional actress and has been for several years.
She is a bubbly, friendly gal and is always smiling.  She's a good actress and loves to portray, serious, dramatic roles.
Her agent finds jobs for her. One in particular was a short film and seemed like a promising gig.   Throughout the first few interviews and rehearsals with the director, Kat told me about how arrogant his attitude seemed.  He would talk down to her and tell her that his studio was a "very professional" one and you "have to be professional" as if she was some kid being too immature.  She hadn't done anything unprofessional, she had only been herself.

The director was bossy and controlling.  Kat said he was probably the worst director she had worked with.  Kat looked him up online and found videos he had done and his website.
What we found out in his videos explained everything.  I recognized it because of how I had been in the past.  It really does "take one, to know one".

Kat's director was 18 years old.  Kat was 23.  He was suffering from Chronic Recurring Attempts to Appear Professional.  His behavior was a load of CRAP.

He was trying to "make it" in show business by being a bull, by putting off a persona of false confidence and false leadership.

I have often been annoyed by how much we misunderstand the meanings of maturity and professionalism.  I almost despise these terms.  I've had people look at me in disgust because they thought they were "more mature" than me.  Maybe they were, but I got the impression that maturity meant being serious, judge-mental and rude.

A very good book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" has wise words that seem to contradict most of our ideas of "professionalism" and "maturity".

I've drawn my own conclusion.  I believe that when people have spoken on maturity and professionalism, it has been feeble attempts to a different end.  They want to be successful and they're going about it the wrong way.

I believe that in order to achieve what you really want you have to respect and genuinely care about others and give little thought to what they think about you.  Do what you love and always stay teachable:  no matter what you know, always be open to input even from someone you consider to be on a "lower level" of achievement than you.  Be honest about your shortcomings but don't let them stop you from moving forward.  And please, don't be like me, don't be full of CRAP.

Planning a Tree

Well it has taken me a year to realize the meaning of the phrase
"Lack of planning is the number one reason businesses fail."
I have been hurting for money from the beginning.  I realized the "planning" part meant planning on not having money and what you're going to do in the meantime.

If I had known this before, I would have started small.  I would have kept a part-time job somewhere else and worked a few days a week as a Massage Therapist until I was slamming on those couple of days.  I would include another day or two until eventually, I would quit the other job and go full-time as a Therapist if I flourished enough.

I didn't realize how much I did NOT plan.

So now I'm in a hole and I need to get out.  I am looking for another job to do part-time and will go part-time in the office I'm in now.

Don't do what I did.  If you are starting your own business, plan on not having money.  Start small and build from there, like growing a tree.

Acceptance Like a Mother

I love the acceptance massage services offer.  You don't have to look good, you don't have to be skinny, you don't have to be anything that you aren't.

It's nice if you're healthy and clean, of course, but if you have tight muscles and pain, I see it as a opportunity to do some good.  I feel that I can make a difference in your life even in a small way.

When big people come to me, I think about the hard time they probably have because there is so much pressure to be in shape.  People feel that they will not be liked or respected if their outward appearance doesn't measure up.

I think the way to help these people is to show them that you do care about and respect them.
Then when they choose to make steps to being healthier, it is for themselves.  Instead of the negative feeling that they have to do it in order for others to feel good about them, it is for the positive purpose of making themselves feel good.

When I massage a big person, I want them to feel safe.  I want them to feel that I love their body and that it is just as extraordinary as every body.  I want to make them feel accepted and cared for.

Again, with the mother thing.

I am such a mother.  I want to be a mother to everyone I meet.

A Motherly Attitude

I've been considering what mindset I need to have in my career when working with people.  I am the kind of person who worries about what others are thinking.  I tend to lose myself by giving way to what I think they're thinking.
I forget the truth about who I am.

I've realized that ultimately, we all want the same thing:  to be cared about.
To me, the ultimate picture of caring is a mother.  I want to be a mother one day and I feel that I have a good bit to go on since I've been around a lot of good moms and kids.

My own mother is a great caregiver!

Mothers do what is best for those under their care.  A mother doesn't think about herself.
She's not trying to impress anyone.  She listens, is accepting, caring, fearless.

So I've decided the mindset I will have in my massage career is that of a mother.
I will listen to and take care of people.

Meet My New Best Friend!

You may not believe this, but for over a year I have been using the office's antibacterial soap to wash off the oily jojoba lotion I use for massage. Well, it doesn't cut it, so I said enough is enough!

I bought a small bottle of this stuff which is so tried and true!  Sure, it will probably dry me out just as the antibacterial soap did but it will take off all the oil and any odors.

My timing was perfect, too, because shortly after buying it, the Dr. and the Mrs. needed to get rid of some yellow jackets right outside the office.

They asked if they could use my detergent.  I said "sure thing, but you owe me $50 because it's like gold" - just kidding!

Just Wee-wax

If there's one thing I have learned in life, it is to relax.  Ever since I was a child, I have struggled with anxiety.  Between 4 and 8 years old, I went through a phase of being sneaky and lying to my parents.  My conscience would kill me and after I got over the phase, I was extra careful to never do it again.  I watched everything I did, thought and said so carefully that I was consumed by the fear of doing something "bad".

At age ten I was talking with my parents and our pastor about it.  My pastor told me over and over "Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry."  It was such a relief to just be told that none of it mattered.  Really?  I don't have to worry?  Slowly I got more and more free.  There were times I thought I could fly because my mind wasn't all wrapped up in whether I was behaving.  I was living my life and enjoying it.

Every now and then for years afterwards, I would fall back into the anxiety and worry.  Just thinking about the awful feelings could bring on an anxiety attack (which for me was muscular spasm and feeling like I had forgotten how to breath).

This is how I got out of it:  I observed myself when I was feeling good and relaxed and realized that there was a definite pattern of breathing that my body took on. I could apply that later to stop an anxiety attack.  Thinking good thoughts helped too.

Once I heard a story about some commander or general in war times whose secret to success in battle was to relax by doing breathing exercises.

I believe that the bottom line of success in business, in emergencies and in everyday life is to relax.  You've heard the phrase "keep calm and carry on". Well, when dealing with people some of us get anxious about what they're thinking but the truth is, if we don't worry and just do what we think is best, everything will turn out okay.

In massage this is a main theme of mine.  I received a massage from someone who told me
"I do (therapeutic) massage, not relaxing massage." Her massage was definitely not very relaxing.  It was very quickly executed - not too pleasant.

I do therapeutic massage and to me, going slowly is key whether you're doing light or deep work.  Number one:  you can't alter the soft tissues of the body by speed-skiing over them. Number two:  you aren't going to help a body at all if it is not relaxed and compliant.  People trust you more if you go slowly.  It gives them time to request changes to your technique.  It opens the door to communication.  It helps them feel more in control.  Always let the client be in control (within reason).

We're all too stressed these days.  Stress is the antagonist of life and can cause quick health decline. We all need to relax more and massage is a great way to do that.  I am so glad to do something that helps the world relax.